All things funny about Oz
- Thread starter Red dust
- Start date
Emulate
Well-Known Member
Laten we zeggen, ik zat erbij en ik keek ernaar. En heb vervolgens 24 uur in een deuk gelegen. Vooral toen dit gebeurde:
www.abc.net.au
En dan is er nu dit
UK PM attacks Australia over controversial Ashes moment
British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak backs up the England cricket team in their complaints about the dismissal of Jonny Bairstow.
www.abc.net.au
En dan is er nu dit
Emulate
Well-Known Member
Niet al te technisch dan: UK batsman Johnny Bairstow zie je hier weglopen van die witte lijn, de 'crease'. Als hij dat doet terwijl de bal nog in het spel is, kan iemand van de veldpartij (de Aussies in dit geval) hem uitgooien door met de bal de 'stumps' (de blauwe paaltjes op de foto) om te gooien. Bairstow had dus gewoon netjes achter die witte crease moeten blijven staan, maar hij moet hebben gedacht dat de bal 'dead' was. Het is de umpire echter die aangeeft of de bal dead is, en die had dat nog niet aangegeven. Dus Aussie wicket keeper Alex Carey gooit met de bal Bairstow uit. Je ziet de bal vliegen boven de stumps. Het was gewoon oerstom van Bairstow, zulke fouten maakt een ervaren cricketer niet. Het punt is dat de Engelsen vervolgens aan het zeiken gingen over onsportief spel van de Aussies, 'dat zou Engeland noooooit hebben gedaan'. De gein is dat de Pommies dat geintje zelf ook voortdurend uithalen en dan is het uiteraard gewoon 'volgens de regels'. Bij dit soort hypocrisie zetten de Aussies uiteraard meteen een grote muil opHahaha, ik kan het niet volgen. Maar als we de UK te kakken zetten is het OK
. Het punt is dat de hoofdscheidsrechter (je ziet zijn witte hoed onderaan de foto) Bairstow 'uit' gaf, en dat heeft eraan bijgedragen dat de Aussies ook de tweede wedstrijd hebben gewonnen. In Engeland op de Engelse holy ground 
. Nog 3 wedstrijden te gaan de komende maand in dit Ashes Tournament. Engeland kan het toernooi dus theoretisch nog winnen. Maar de moraal zit wel onder de grond nu en de vijandelijkheden zijn geopend. Het is 1 grote metafoor van de algemene verhoudingen tussen het superieure moederland en die bogan strafkolonie van ze down under. Ondertussen is Australia compleet van de leg af van het lachen 
.
SteveSW
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Dank voor die uitleg. Ik wou er het fijne wel van weten nu het blijkbaar ook een soort diplomatiek kantje krijgt maar de typische ellenlange artikels zonder echt to the point te komen slaagden daar natuurlijk niet in. Of misschien wel als je het spelletje snapt waar ze waarschijnlijk van uit gaan.
Tim911
Account Inactief (eigen verzoek)
Het punt is dat de Engelsen vervolgens aan het zeiken gingen over onsportief spel van de Aussies, 'dat zou Engeland noooooit hebben gedaan'. De gein is dat de Pommies dat geintje zelf ook voortdurend uithalen en dan is het uiteraard gewoon 'volgens de regels'. Bij dit soort hypocrisie zetten de Aussies uiteraard meteen een grote muil op
Dit doet me heel erg denken aan de 1e wereld titel van Max Verstappen en hoe hij toen Lewis Hamilton door een slimmigheidje de baas was. De wereld was te klein toen hoor, en toen kon je ook goed zien hoe kleinzerig die Engelsen waren. Ze noemen ze niet voor niks whinging poms he. Go Ozzie!
Emulate
Well-Known Member
Er werden een paar Britten op tv geinterviewd die voor het eerst in Australia op vakantie waren (herkenbaar aan die roodverbrande koppen waar de vellen bij hangen, bier in de hand, huidkanker en levercirrose ready to go). Gevraagd hoe ze het hier vonden. "Jolly good. It is actually quite nice in the colonies".
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afterbang
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Ik had hem ook voorbij zien komen. Bijna gaar.
afterbang
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Iets meer middle of the road (pun intended)
Eigenlijk om te huilen. Maar de waarheid. Zelfs de normale snelheid treinen zijn spaarzaam. We hebben alleen langzame volgens mij. Canberra-Sydney is veel sneller en met meer frequentie met de bus. Van hier naar Brisbane (1.5 uur met de auto) is met de trein een dagtocht (terwijl de trein hier in het dorp stopt)
Eigenlijk om te huilen. Maar de waarheid. Zelfs de normale snelheid treinen zijn spaarzaam. We hebben alleen langzame volgens mij. Canberra-Sydney is veel sneller en met meer frequentie met de bus. Van hier naar Brisbane (1.5 uur met de auto) is met de trein een dagtocht (terwijl de trein hier in het dorp stopt)
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Emulate
Well-Known Member
AUSTRALIA AND AUSTRALIANS
The following has been written by the late Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame.
"Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge into the girting sea.
Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight", proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory but they can't spell either.
The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three.
Typically, it is unique in this.
The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them.
Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else.
A stick is very useful for this task.
The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants.
A short history: Sometime around 40,000 years ago some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them died.
The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. They also discovered a stick that kept coming back.
Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north.
More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.
About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say), whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert - equipped with a stick.
Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on 'extended holiday' and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside their boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.
There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching
a beach sunset is worth the risk.
As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a sour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud.
Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz" or "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country"). The irritating thing about this is... they may be right.
TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA
Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason - WHATSOEVER.
The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
Always carry a stick.
Air-conditioning is imperative.
Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.
Wear thick socks.
Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. And don't forget a stick.
Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS
They pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
They think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place, that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga", but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it's a must-have.
How else do you get a stain on your shirt?
They don't think it's summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction.
And they all carry a stick..
The following has been written by the late Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame.
"Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge into the girting sea.
Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight", proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory but they can't spell either.
The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three.
Typically, it is unique in this.
The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them.
Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else.
A stick is very useful for this task.
The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants.
A short history: Sometime around 40,000 years ago some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them died.
The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. They also discovered a stick that kept coming back.
Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north.
More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.
About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say), whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert - equipped with a stick.
Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on 'extended holiday' and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside their boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.
There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching
a beach sunset is worth the risk.
As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a sour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud.
Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz" or "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country"). The irritating thing about this is... they may be right.
TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA
Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason - WHATSOEVER.
The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
Always carry a stick.
Air-conditioning is imperative.
Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.
Wear thick socks.
Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. And don't forget a stick.
Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS
They pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
They think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place, that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga", but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it's a must-have.
How else do you get a stain on your shirt?
They don't think it's summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction.
And they all carry a stick..
Beebmeep
XPdite Sponsor 2024
Ik deelde deze onlangs weer op Facebook en kreeg van FB de reactie dat de post geblocked was o.i.d. omdat de fact-checkers aangaven dat het bericht onwaarheden bevatte. Ya think??
Thijsvr
Well-Known Member
Grappig, ik kende het concept van de nieuwe Outlander concept. Wist niet dat hij daarvoor dit al gedaan had.
oeps..........onwaarheden kan het me niet voorstellenIk deelde deze onlangs weer op Facebook en kreeg van FB de reactie dat de post geblocked was o.i.d. omdat de fact-checkers aangaven dat het bericht onwaarheden bevatte. Ya think??
, tenzij het misschien betrekking heeft v.w.b. de 'schrijver' !.
Lamarck
Well-Known Member
Quote uit "The last continent" van Terry Pratchett (waarbij Fourecks de naam is voor het laatst ontdekte continent: XXXX op de kaart)
Death held out a hand. I WANT, he said, A BOOK ABOUT THE DANGEROUS CREATURES OF FOURECKS-
Albert looked up and dived for cover, receiving only mild bruising because he had the foresight to curl into a ball.
After a while Death, his voice a little muffled, said: ALBERT, I WOULD BE SO GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
Albert scrambled up and pulled at some of the huge volumes, finally dislodging enough of them for his master to clamber free.
HMM... Death picked up a book at random and read the cover. "DANGEROUS MAMMALS, REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, BIRDS, FISH, JELLYFISH, INSECTS, SPIDERS, CRUSTACEANS, GRASSES, TREES, MOSSES, AND LICHENS OF TERROR INCOGNITA, " he read. His gaze moved down the spine. VOLUME 29C, he added. OH. PART THREE, I SEE.
He glanced up at the listening shelves. POSSIBLY IT WOULD BE SIMPLER IF I ASKED FOR A LIST OF THE HARMLESS CREATURES OF THE AFORESAID CONTINENT?
They waited.
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT-
"No, wait master. Here it comes." Albert pointed to something white zigzagging lazily through the air.
Finally Death reached up an caught the single sheet of paper. He read it carefully and then turned it over briefly just in case anything was written on the other side.
"May I?" said Albert.
Death handed him the paper.
"'Some of the sheep, '" Albert read aloud.
Death held out a hand. I WANT, he said, A BOOK ABOUT THE DANGEROUS CREATURES OF FOURECKS-
Albert looked up and dived for cover, receiving only mild bruising because he had the foresight to curl into a ball.
After a while Death, his voice a little muffled, said: ALBERT, I WOULD BE SO GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
Albert scrambled up and pulled at some of the huge volumes, finally dislodging enough of them for his master to clamber free.
HMM... Death picked up a book at random and read the cover. "DANGEROUS MAMMALS, REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, BIRDS, FISH, JELLYFISH, INSECTS, SPIDERS, CRUSTACEANS, GRASSES, TREES, MOSSES, AND LICHENS OF TERROR INCOGNITA, " he read. His gaze moved down the spine. VOLUME 29C, he added. OH. PART THREE, I SEE.
He glanced up at the listening shelves. POSSIBLY IT WOULD BE SIMPLER IF I ASKED FOR A LIST OF THE HARMLESS CREATURES OF THE AFORESAID CONTINENT?
They waited.
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT-
"No, wait master. Here it comes." Albert pointed to something white zigzagging lazily through the air.
Finally Death reached up an caught the single sheet of paper. He read it carefully and then turned it over briefly just in case anything was written on the other side.
"May I?" said Albert.
Death handed him the paper.
"'Some of the sheep, '" Albert read aloud.
Emulate
Well-Known Member
Noooooooit gedacht dat dit ooit zou gebeuren (ik bedoel, the Dutch zijn een locaal non-cricket-country clubje tegen een Test Country, ben al verbaasd dat ze zich als enig Europees land wisten te kwalificeren). Maar in dit wereldkampioenschap cricket staat het Netherlands Cricket Team tegenover wereldkampioen Australia nadat ze Test Country Zuid-Afrika buitengewoon onverwacht in de pan hebben gehakt .
Allemaal voor de TV op woensdag 25 oktober 2023, 19:30 pm op Channel Nine!
May the worst one win!
.Allemaal voor de TV op woensdag 25 oktober 2023, 19:30 pm op Channel Nine!
May the worst one win
!