For everyone who feels like telling jokes (in English)....

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:

1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
_______________________________
Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the management denies your
request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH
brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the
management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are
often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift.
7. You dont always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct protective
clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area
before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been
seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management
 
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby
in
the cab!"  I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her underwear.  Suddenly I noticed that
there
were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.  Submitted by Dr. Mark
MacDonald, San Antonio, Texas

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.  "Big breaths," I
instructed.  "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.  Submitted by
Dr. ichard Byrnes, Seattle

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.  Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
had died of a "massive internal fart."  Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg,
Manitoba, Canada

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his
medications.  "Which one?  " I asked.  "The patch.  The nurse told me to
put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put
it!"
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes,  the man had over fifty patches on his body!  Now, the instructions
include
removal of the old patch before applying a new one.  Submitted by Dr.
Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, Virginia

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How
long have you been bedridden?"  After a look of complete confusion she
answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, Oregon

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this
morning?"  "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.  I can't seem
to get used to the taste," the patient replied.  I then asked to see the
jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."  Submitted
by r. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, Michigan

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered.  It was quickly
determined that the
patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate
surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff
noticed
that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo
that read, "Keep off the grass."  Once the surgery was completed, the
surgeon wrote a short note on the patient,s dressing, which said, "Sorry,
had to mow the lawn."  Submitted by RN no name

AND FINALLY!!!................

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed
when performing female pelvic exams To cover my embarrassment I had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.  The middle-aged lady
upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further
embarrassing me.. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm
sorry.
Was I tickling you?"  She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were
whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'!".  Dr. wouldn't
submit
his name
 
blonde walking past a travel agents, sees a sign saying 'cheap cruises only £50' so she walks into the shop puts £50 down and says 'ill take one of your cruises please'.
Bloke grabs her hair takes her out the back slings a rubber ring round her and chucks her in the river.

Another blonde walking past same shop sees same sign and goes in, puts £50 down and says 'ill take one of your cruises please'.
Bloke grabs second blonde by the hair drags her out back, slings a rubber ring round her and chucks her in the river.

As the two blondes float down the river they catch each other up where the second blonde says to the first blonde, 'do they serve drinks on this cruise?'

The second blonde says.............................................. ............


.................................................. ............



.................................................. .............




.................................................. .............




'Well they didnt last time!!!!!!!! 
 
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points, Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:



SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed . . . . . . . . . . +1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows . . . . .0

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets . . . . . . -1

You leave the toilet seat up . . . . . . . -5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it's empty . . . . .0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex . . . . -1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom . . . . . -2

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings . . . . . +5

in the snow . . . . +8

but return with beer . . . . . . . -5

and no liners . . . . . . -25

You check out a suspicious noise at night . . . . . . 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing . . . . . .0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something . . . . .+5

You pummel it with a six iron . . . . . . . +10

It's her cat . . . . . . . . . . . . . -40



AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party . . . . . . .+20

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with College drinking buddy . . . . . .-2

Named Tiffany . . . . . . -4

Tiffany is a dancer . . . . . . -10

With breast implants . . . . . . . . -18



HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday . . . . . . 0

You buy a card and flowers . . . . . . 0

You take her out to dinner . . . . . . . 0

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar . . . . +1

Okay, it is a sports bar . . . . . . -2

And it's all-you-can-eat night . . . . . . -3

And your face is painted the colors of your favorite team . . . . . . -10



A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal . . . . . 0

The pal is happily married . . . . . +1

The pal is single . . . . . . . -7

He drives a Ferrari . . . . . . -10

With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED) . . . . . . -15



A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie . . . . . +2

You take her to a movie she likes . . . . . . +4

You take her to a movie you hate . . . . .+6

You take her to a movie you like . . . . . -2

It's called Death Cop III . . . . . . . -3

Which features Cyborgs that eat humans . . . . . . -9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans . . . . . . -15



YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly . . . . . . -15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it . . . . . . +10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts . . . . . -30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." . . . . . . -800



THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding . . . . . . . -10

You reply, "Where?" . . . . . . -35

You reply, "No, I think it's your arse." . . . . . . -100

Any other response . . . . . . . -20



COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, You listen, displaying a concerned statement . . . . . . 0

You listen, for over 30 minutes . . . . . . +5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience . . . . . . +50

Your mind wanders and you suddenly hear "Well, what do you think I should do." You look blank. . . . . -50

You have fallen asleep . . . . . -200
 
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.

The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.

A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Birmingham , parts of Essex , Newcastle and anywhere in Wales
 
The Stella Liebeck Awards

> It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards.

> The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

> Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens that allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed.

> This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.

> 5th place (Tied)

> A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas $780,000 after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.

> 5th place (Tied)

> 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when  his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

> 5th place (Tied)>

> Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage door. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

> 4th Place

> Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

> 3rd place

> A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

> 2nd Place

> Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to crawl in through the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

> 1st Place

> This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a new Winnebago motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there  were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
 
Calling the Jackass

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!  Now get this.  I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.  I found the number and dialed it.  A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me!  I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude.  I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.  After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk.  I decided to call it again.

When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer.  Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up.  He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!"  It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID.  This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea.  I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name.  "Hi.  This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"  He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down.  I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.

[Keep reading, it gets better.]

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking pace.  I didn't think she was ever going to leave.  Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot.  I backed up little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.  Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.  All of a sudden this black Camaro came flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.

I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me.  He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure are a lot of jackasses in this world.  I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car.  I wrote down the number.  Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk.  I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.  After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."  I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street.  It's a yellow house and the
car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes,"
"Don, you're a jackass!"  And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.  For a while things seemed to be going better for me.  Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call.  Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.  A man answered nicely saying,
"Hello."
I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street.  It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don.  You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your ass."
"Well, here's your chance.  I'm coming over right now Jackass!"  And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police.  I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious!

Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
 
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience & they are THE seven dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.
"Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
Dopey asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment & answers, "no, Dopey there are no dwarf nuns in Rome." In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns round & gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment & then answers "Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe"

This time all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back to The Pope & says "Your extreme Holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns any where in the world?"

After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds,
"I'm sorry my son, there are NO dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling around, laughing and pounding on the floor, tears streaming down their cheeks as they began chanting:
"Dopey shagged a penguin!"
"Dopey shagged a penguin!" 
 
3 old blokes are sitting in the lounge of their retirement home complaining about all their discomforts. Says the 70 year old " I wake up every morning at 7.00am and have to pis like a bull but went I go, I can only manage to get one drop out ", says the 80 year old "thats nothing, I wake up at 8.00 am everymorning and need to shit like hell but when I go I only manage a little dropping"  " ha,"says the 90 year old," every morning at 7.00 I pis like a bull and shit like hell"
"well" says the 70 year old " that's great , what are you complaing about?"
says the 90 year old man " I don't wake up untill 9.00.

miel
 
This real ugly old woman, and I mean ugly as hell, walks into a bar with a parrot on her shoulder and sits down next to a nice young man. She turns to the man and says " if you can guess what kind of bird this is, I'll let you screw me for free" The embarressed man chuckles and says whilst he winks to his mates "a pelikan" .
"The answer is wrong" says the woman " but what the hell, this time I'll mark it right"

miel
 
Have you heard about the new Sheepdog Bra?

It rounds them up, and points them in the right direction!
 
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.
Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.
"Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.
Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why's that Timmy?"
"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten."
 
ik weet het best wel lang en best wel veel maar super grappig
ik heb ooit gevraagd aan onze IT dienst man en is het echt zo erg
mmmh zei die it happens, yes


When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power up at all.

When I.T. support sends you e-mail marked "high priority", delete it at once. We're just testing.

When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, contradict us. We love a good argument.

When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" THAT motivates us.

When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.

If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?

When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call I.T. support - hanging a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends, that it be only performed by a professional engineer, with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.
Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the queue.

When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company. People out in the Co.Mayo branch like to keep abreast of what's going on.

When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.

Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.

When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the settings and drivers somewhere.
 
Oh Kristien, it is sooo true!!!! (Yes, personal experiences on the IT helpdesk) Here's another one:

Woman calls the helpdesk:
"I've pressed F1 two hours ago, but there is still nobody here!!!"

And believe me, it happens!!
 
[quote author=Lela link=topic=3790.msg71241#msg71241 date=1158498770]
Oh Kristien, it is sooo true!!!! (Yes, personal experiences on the IT helpdesk) Here's another one:

Woman calls the helpdesk:
"I've pressed F1 two hours ago, but there is still nobody here!!!"

And believe me, it happens!!
[/quote]

:-D
 
there's an old book called "computerflaters" , mainly it describes the conversations of a helpdesk.

some are very funny and actually very DUMB.
HelpDesk- Hello, how can i help you.
Caller - my computer doesn't do anything
HD- what do you see?
C- Nothing!!
HD- Nothing???
C- No cos the lights went out 15 minutes ago too!!
 
I heard this one at Paul de Leeuw his show.

Three rich guys were describing what they bought for their wives.
The first rich lad said he bought her something that goes from 0 to 100 in 7 seconds.
"What did you buy?", asked one of the two other guys.
'a porsche'
"ah, that's not fast. I gave my wife something that goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds!"
"What is it?" both guys asked.
'A Ferrari'
"oooh...that's nothing! I bought my wife something that goes from 0 to 100 in 1 second!"
'Impossible!', the other two guys yelled, 'what could that be?'
The third guy replied "a scale"

(hmm, misschien was ie in -dutsch- leuker :p)
 
I heard this one a long time ago but now knowing how Aussies and Kiwis are always competing this is probably from New Zealand, so I'm sorry if it's offending people but I think it's a funny one.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia??



Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!
 
Danny-Eva,

[move][size=35pt]You have just won the 'best Ozzie joke according to Perthpete ever' award !! GREAT ONE![/size][/move]

Perthpete
 
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