For everyone who feels like speaking English....
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Koengaroo
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Now what a switch .... from singing in a tent to nosepicking in the car... can it get more grose??? :lol:
Now I have another question, how do you explain to the people leaving behind (famely/friends) that the step your taking is not as big of a step as they are thinking?
Alot of people i speak always start with wow that a big step your taking, but to me it doesn't seem like such a big step, this is rather hard to explain. Now how do you explain this?
Really curious to your experience.
Gr.Koen
Now I have another question, how do you explain to the people leaving behind (famely/friends) that the step your taking is not as big of a step as they are thinking?
Alot of people i speak always start with wow that a big step your taking, but to me it doesn't seem like such a big step, this is rather hard to explain. Now how do you explain this?
Really curious to your experience.
Gr.Koen
Annemiek
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I sing in the car as well, but not in the shower! I'm a bit shy you know and since we live in a flat people can hear you I've sung in a rockband for four years though... Did a lot of gigs and was nervous as hell every time we had a gig... I even signed up for the first Idols in Holland But everybody has their moment of big mistakes don't they?
I've sung in a rockband for four years though... Did a lot of gigs and was nervous as hell every time we had a gig... I even signed up for the first Idols in Holland But everybody has their moment of big mistakes don't they? Hiya to all the english speaking people here....help! I need help...please....how does one translate the word(s) bouwvak vakantie?? I am sorting something out for my brother in law, who we are sponsoring. He has to explain some "gaps" in his work experience and one of the "gaps" is due to the....you guessed it "Bouwvak vakantie" but how do we translate that??
Ta!
Syl
Ta!
Syl
going to OZ is a big step for me but its a step to a better life, so for me it's something to look
forward to but for my family in holland it's terrible. They only see the bad things like there's no
health insurance or if i dont like it in oz then there's no way or money to come back or a house to come back to.
i stopped tell them why i want to life in oz, they just dont understand.
forward to but for my family in holland it's terrible. They only see the bad things like there's no
health insurance or if i dont like it in oz then there's no way or money to come back or a house to come back to.
i stopped tell them why i want to life in oz, they just dont understand.
Koengaroo
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Thanks for the reactions, now what do you reckon it is, is it envy that we are realizing our dreams or being adventurous? Or is it just the fact the they are stuck in their own little world?
I notice from time to time that some people really want to get out of the Netherlands but can't because their partners don't want to. Even last night we were at a friends house and he said, if I could go today I would go straight away, but his partner said no, I can't leave my folks behind....
I must admit the even though he can't leave because of his partner he is very supportive
While very close friends are not and are trying to make you feel guilty. :|
I know there is another threat about the support from famely and friends, I'm just wondering especially from the people already in Oz if that behaviour changes as soon as you are gone, or do you loose contact with them?
Gr.Koen
I notice from time to time that some people really want to get out of the Netherlands but can't because their partners don't want to. Even last night we were at a friends house and he said, if I could go today I would go straight away, but his partner said no, I can't leave my folks behind....
I must admit the even though he can't leave because of his partner he is very supportive
While very close friends are not and are trying to make you feel guilty. :|
I know there is another threat about the support from famely and friends, I'm just wondering especially from the people already in Oz if that behaviour changes as soon as you are gone, or do you loose contact with them?
Gr.Koen
Hiya Koen
Nice to have a bit of a discussion happening here is my "bit":
I think it is just a fact that everyone has different "goal posts" some of these posts are steady as a rock and others are flexible as anything and get moved further and further away........eg. it will mean that some people are just happy with what they have (I personally don't think that has anything to do with being narrow minded or being stuck....just different perhaps) and other people are happy to test their own boundaries once or twice or over and over again.
Obviously, there are lots of variations to the above and some people ARE jealous and some people ARE narrow minded...but overall I think it is just a personal choice.
Bye
Syl
Nice to have a bit of a discussion happening
here is my "bit":I think it is just a fact that everyone has different "goal posts" some of these posts are steady as a rock and others are flexible as anything and get moved further and further away........eg. it will mean that some people are just happy with what they have (I personally don't think that has anything to do with being narrow minded or being stuck....just different perhaps) and other people are happy to test their own boundaries once or twice or over and over again.
Obviously, there are lots of variations to the above and some people ARE jealous and some people ARE narrow minded...but overall I think it is just a personal choice.
Bye
Syl
Koengaroo
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Hi Syl,
Thanks for your bit...
I agree with you on this point, however I didn't suggest they are.....
BUT..... If they are content with what the have and are not narrow minded as you put it then why do you get these remarks, sometimes even disapprovel and sometimes plain critisism, and guild, like why... would you do that to your famely... and stuff like that?
Just wondering....!
Greetz,
Koen
Thanks for your bit...
I agree with you on this point, however I didn't suggest they are.....
I agree with this as well....
BUT..... If they are content with what the have and are not narrow minded as you put it then why do you get these remarks, sometimes even disapprovel and sometimes plain critisism, and guild, like why... would you do that to your famely... and stuff like that?
Just wondering....!
Greetz,
Koen
Hiya Koen
In respons to the big why ....There is a bit of guess work involved here :-D but could it perhaps be because of their own insecurity? are they scared of losing their loved ones to a "faraway country with lots of scary animals"? People are worried that they will never see you again, unborn grand children is a big one too!!!
I do admit, at times it is hard to deal with other peoples feelings when you have got a lot on your own plate already :-D
Bye
Syl
I know, I know :-D these were just my words
In respons to the big why ....There is a bit of guess work involved here :-D but could it perhaps be because of their own insecurity? are they scared of losing their loved ones to a "faraway country with lots of scary animals
"? People are worried that they will never see you again, unborn grand children is a big one too!!! I do admit, at times it is hard to deal with other peoples feelings when you have got a lot on your own plate already :-D
Bye
Syl
Koengaroo
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Syl,
I "guess" your might have a point there :wink:, but still how do you for instance experience this, did you have people in your friends or famely who tried to make you feel guilty and if so how is your relationship to them now? is it still the same or has it become less and do they hold some dort of a gruch (don't really know how to spell this word) against you? :?
Gr.Koen
I "guess" your might have a point there :wink:, but still how do you for instance experience this, did you have people in your friends or famely who tried to make you feel guilty and if so how is your relationship to them now? is it still the same or has it become less and do they hold some dort of a gruch (don't really know how to spell this word) against you? :?
Gr.Koen
Hey Koen,
My 2 cents worth; I personally had only a negative response from a neighbour, who - excuse my saying so - wasn't a real brain surgeon. All my friends and family thought it was wonderful. They had all met Steve and saw how lovely he was, and knew I would be fine. And hey, if it would go wrong, I would go back, it was that simple.
Why some people get grumpy, irritated, jealous and so on... Maybe because they see somebody else having the guts to go beyond borders that they (the people who don't move) have set for themselves and can't cross.
I don't think that we as a person are brought up to be different and brilliant. We are in general brought up to conform and fade into the background. So you stay where you are and that's it, sort of. When then people say 'Hey, we going to move to another country', I think that deep down inside, it does appeal to some smouldering feelings, and not being able to give in to their own adventurous feelings might make them feel frustrated.
Now how to handle that? If they get upset with you.... Tell them you'll miss them too, of course! Tell them you love them heaps and will call often. Try to understand their being upset - they're entitled to! And the louder they scream, the bigger the hug is that you're going to give them. Tell them it's great to know how much they love you and will miss you.
Apart from that... you (you in general) don't have to 'agree'. You can also 'take what they say in as information'.
What do you think?
Ireen.
My 2 cents worth; I personally had only a negative response from a neighbour, who - excuse my saying so - wasn't a real brain surgeon. All my friends and family thought it was wonderful. They had all met Steve and saw how lovely he was, and knew I would be fine. And hey, if it would go wrong, I would go back, it was that simple.
Why some people get grumpy, irritated, jealous and so on... Maybe because they see somebody else having the guts to go beyond borders that they (the people who don't move) have set for themselves and can't cross.
I don't think that we as a person are brought up to be different and brilliant. We are in general brought up to conform and fade into the background. So you stay where you are and that's it, sort of. When then people say 'Hey, we going to move to another country', I think that deep down inside, it does appeal to some smouldering feelings, and not being able to give in to their own adventurous feelings might make them feel frustrated.
Now how to handle that? If they get upset with you.... Tell them you'll miss them too, of course! Tell them you love them heaps and will call often. Try to understand their being upset - they're entitled to! And the louder they scream, the bigger the hug is that you're going to give them. Tell them it's great to know how much they love you and will miss you.
Apart from that... you (you in general) don't have to 'agree'. You can also 'take what they say in as information'.
What do you think?
Ireen.
I do like your spiel on this one Ireen wise words from a wise woman :wink:
and as for
The good news, they did not succeed!!!! and if any....it has made most of the relationships stronger
Bye
Syl
wise words from a wise woman :wink: and as for
yes, most definitely. There were quite a few people who almost made us feel guilty....but hey, there is no harm in trying! :-D
The good news, they did not succeed!!!! and if any....it has made most of the relationships stronger
Bye
Syl
Koengaroo
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Hi Ireen & Syl,
Thanks for the wise words and for sharing your thoughts.
At this moment I'm trying to tell those people all the good things... that I love them, I'll miss them and so on and so forth, however, deep down inside I feel a bit disappointed in one of them.
She is a best friend for 18 years now and because I try to respect her oppinion I feel that I'm creating a distance to her.
I the way she is acting now I notice that she is actually ignoring me in a way and that feels to me like our friendship over the years was all fake. Maybe I need to take my distance and try to let the pieces fall into place, but in a way I don't really care anymore.... I know this is not what I want but I'm a bit black and white in a lot of ways.
Anyway I really hope this won't be the end of our friendship, and I know she is comming to our wedding since she is my best man (woman) but still I find it difficult to handle.
I think it is also because the day of departure is closing in fast.... it is only 7 workdays left (12th of may) and then only 2 more weeks before we leave.... man time goes so fast when your looking forward to something....
Anyway, just a bit of my current struggle.
See ya,
Koen
Thanks for the wise words and for sharing your thoughts.
At this moment I'm trying to tell those people all the good things... that I love them, I'll miss them and so on and so forth, however, deep down inside I feel a bit disappointed in one of them.
She is a best friend for 18 years now and because I try to respect her oppinion I feel that I'm creating a distance to her.
I the way she is acting now I notice that she is actually ignoring me in a way and that feels to me like our friendship over the years was all fake. Maybe I need to take my distance and try to let the pieces fall into place, but in a way I don't really care anymore.... I know this is not what I want but I'm a bit black and white in a lot of ways.
Anyway I really hope this won't be the end of our friendship, and I know she is comming to our wedding since she is my best man (woman) but still I find it difficult to handle.
I think it is also because the day of departure is closing in fast.... it is only 7 workdays left (12th of may) and then only 2 more weeks before we leave.... man time goes so fast when your looking forward to something....
Anyway, just a bit of my current struggle.
See ya,
Koen
I must admit... If it would have been my best friend who would leave 'me' to go to the other side of the world, I would have felt quite lonely and left behind even just thinking about it.
Your friend doesn't know it yet, but it won't be as hard after all (says little Me), as there will be plenty of contact. But... she doesn't want to see you go and she probably feels you're letting HER down. When she'd think about it rationally however, she would probably not have the same point of view, but what to choose: saying what one feels or saying what one thinks. Best would be both, but that's a darn different thing for most of us.
I wouldn't think your friendship has been fake, really dear, don't think that. She IS however, showing you another trait of hers, something you possibly don't like. Up to you to accept that, or not
The art is to acknowledge. Even just to acknowledge and then shut up. Like 'I can imagine how you feel'... full stop. Or, I feel it's hard for you... Full stop. Or..... "I so wanted you to support me and I'm said that you don't even though I know I can't expect it from anybody".
Oh I don't know... It's different for everybody. But one thing is sure; you can't fight over feelings; they might be unjust, but still, if it's what one feels...
Your friend doesn't know it yet, but it won't be as hard after all (says little Me), as there will be plenty of contact. But... she doesn't want to see you go and she probably feels you're letting HER down. When she'd think about it rationally however, she would probably not have the same point of view, but what to choose: saying what one feels or saying what one thinks. Best would be both, but that's a darn different thing for most of us.
I wouldn't think your friendship has been fake, really dear, don't think that. She IS however, showing you another trait of hers, something you possibly don't like. Up to you to accept that, or not
The art is to acknowledge. Even just to acknowledge and then shut up. Like 'I can imagine how you feel'... full stop. Or, I feel it's hard for you... Full stop. Or..... "I so wanted you to support me and I'm said that you don't even though I know I can't expect it from anybody".
Oh I don't know... It's different for everybody. But one thing is sure; you can't fight over feelings; they might be unjust, but still, if it's what one feels...
Hi Koen. I see my own story in what you are telling .... with me, it is my Mother who is acting in a strange way. She is taking a lot of distance, she became angry.....I don't think it is because she doesn't love me, it is because she wants to protect herself.
I hope that our relationship will change again, once I am in Oz. Maybe then, she'll see that I won't forget about her. Just wait and see. Let's keep our fingers crossed that after a few months, those people we love will finally see that we aren't dead just because we live a little further away.
Good luck, keep on going strong!
Sara
I hope that our relationship will change again, once I am in Oz. Maybe then, she'll see that I won't forget about her. Just wait and see. Let's keep our fingers crossed that after a few months, those people we love will finally see that we aren't dead just because we live a little further away.
Good luck, keep on going strong!
Sara
Koengaroo
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Thanks Ireen & Sara,
The last thing I want to say about it is that with the way I react on her feelings and she reacts on my feelings it had become a weird situation and just as Sara says I really hope she will see that I won't forget about her.
I know she will be in Oz on our weddingday so I really hope I can show her what I got there then, and I'm sure I'll be able to tell her that I miss her.
Any way for me this is the hard part about leaving, everything else is ok.
Thanks you all for your opinions and advise in this matter, I just want to tell you that I really enjoy having this kind of support from people who have or are experiencing the same thing... ( the should have had a forum bak in the 90 when I cam back from former yougoslavia, I probably wouldn't be messed up this much...lol)
Gr.Koen
The last thing I want to say about it is that with the way I react on her feelings and she reacts on my feelings it had become a weird situation and just as Sara says I really hope she will see that I won't forget about her.
I know she will be in Oz on our weddingday so I really hope I can show her what I got there then, and I'm sure I'll be able to tell her that I miss her.
Any way for me this is the hard part about leaving, everything else is ok.
Thanks you all for your opinions and advise in this matter, I just want to tell you that I really enjoy having this kind of support from people who have or are experiencing the same thing... ( the should have had a forum bak in the 90 when I cam back from former yougoslavia, I probably wouldn't be messed up this much...lol)
Gr.Koen